The Hard Way

I am not always the most motivated person. I usually procrastinate before putting myself into anything long term. Heck, anything PERIOD, sometimes! Why? Because I have extremely low self esteem and I worry that I will fail. I usually do anything that I know I can succeed at, but if it is real tough or takes a whole lot of determination, I get cold feet.

This is something that does not occur because I am lazy. It is fear, plain and simple. Fear of humiliation, fear of beginning something and not being able to follow through, and fear that it will just be something else I can add to my long list of deficiencies. If you have ever felt that way, please read on. If not, I truly applaud you and your successes.

I can not say that through life I have never accomplished anything. I have several things I can be proud of. A wonderful family, five beautiful and talented children, a firm belief system, and certain things I do well, such as cooking. I feel everyone has at least a few regrets.

I may not have a long list of things I wish I could have accomplished so far, but I definitely have a few. My major concerns on this list? Staying in shape physically and making enough money to live comfortably. We have had our good years financially, but also those meager years where we did not know if we were going to be able to get from one paycheck to the next.

This is where my newest journey begins. This is where I lose my inhibitions, throw caution to the wind, and put myself out there no matter what the outcome could possibly be. Regardless of the humiliation, or how this could backfire, I am going for it through thick and thin, and sticking with it to the end.

Believe it or not, I am actually quite camera shy. I do not like to make a spectacle of myself, unless with very close friends or family, and I am very self conscience, considering my weight gain of around 100 pounds! Trust me when I say, added weight can definitely bring your confidence to pretty much nil.

You will probably say then, “Why in the world did you ever choose to do what you are doing, the WAY you are doing it?” My answer: Because I think it will actually help me to stick to what I have started, and I also think I might be able to help a few other people along the way! I hate to see anyone suffer with the lack of self confidence that I live with, and to top it off, money is very tight, which does not exactly help to boost the spirit any.

My husband was laid off recently from an excellent job where he was making great money, and I, myself, am out of work. We needed something that would generate some income, and I needed something to physically bring me to better health. Due to stress, I gained weight. Yes, I am one of THOSE. I turn to food in times of crisis because it is something I know, something I enjoy, and something I can truly relate to. I admit to being an addict, but of course, as the weight piled on, my joints felt the pressure, and eventually I was bedridden with lower back difficulties. What did this mean? More laying or sitting around, unable to do much except eat! I was unable to work for quite a while, and when I was regulated enough to hold down a job, the job specifics had to fit accordingly with the Doctors recommendations.

This is not a sob story or pity party. I, ultimately, brought this on myself. Only I could control what I ate and how much I exercised. But no matter what the cause, I came to be an overweight, ailing, “thirty-something” mom and wife who could only work to help the family income sporadically.

Which brings me to the here and now. I have had it! I am too young to be tired all the time, I am certainly too young to move like a grandma in her eighties, and am much too young to say that I can not work because my joints ache too bad and am not able to lift over 20 pounds. Gone are the days of feeling sorry for myself, and living with regrets, and I am here to tell you that by the time my children have children, I want to be as young and agile as I was when mine were very small.

I decided first to do something about the income. (I apologize if this begins to sound like an infomercial….that is not the intent.) We have actually been trying to start something online for quite some time. Even during the times when I was working and my husbands’ job was secure, we tried endlessly to figure out something we could do online so I could be home with the kids and my husband and I could eventually work full time together. We tried many different programs, and needless to say, wasted way too much money on schemes that just plain did not work! We finally opted to pick something together, research it completely, and then make a go of it, for better or worse. We just honestly could not afford much at all.

Now, am I about to tell you that we found a site that we really both got excited about, jumped into, and are making thousands of dollars a day doing next to nothing at all? I WISH! But we honestly did find a program that does NOT offer you riches, it admits that it takes hard work, and it also makes you take a 60 day course. It DOES guarantee you will earn $30 – $50 per day within the first 60 days. Sounds small, but you have to start somewhere, and to be legitimate, I believe an offer can not promise impossibilities.

The webpage, email course, forums, etc. are so helpful, and within the first week we could actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. Now please do not read this and skip the next little part of my article where you actually hear the CRAZY “fat” part. I do not want you to miss it. But if you are interested at all in seeing what I’m talking about here, making money at home, online, putting into it the effort you choose, then please see my blog site for more information. (Site will be listed at the end of this article.)

I am a regular person, I have not been hired by this company to promote anything. Honestly. I just want to share with you something that we found to do together, that looks to be quite profitable eventually. I will not lie to you….you MUST put the effort into it to begin making money. The woman who founded this program actually leads you step by little step.

Next: my weight loss. No I do not have a product to sell you at all. I am sure you have heard of others doing something like what I am doing from time to time, and in my research I have discovered I am not the only one out there with this crazy notion. I am just truly sick of my fat, so decided to make a video of myself, stepping ON THE SCALE, with the promise to keep people posted regardless of success or failure. I am putting myself out there and risking absolute humiliation, doing something about a very private problem I have had for years now.

When I actually stepped on the scale with the camera rolling that first time, I did not even know how much I weighed. I found out the exact numbers while filming it, and then posted it to YouTube within minutes of my discovery. To top it off and make matters worse, (with the humiliation factor), I also posted my body measurements in my blog. Talk about HUGE numbers!

I am making a go of it, though. People can comment, send messages, or email me, and I realize not everyone will be kind. Some will be bluntly honest, but you know something? That is exactly what I need. A push, or even a shove, to get me going, keep me at it, and force me to finally do something to get my body back into shape.

What I have done to myself is truly a shame. I am disgusted, I feel ugly beyond words, and in many ways, feel I have failed my family. After about nine years of living with this, I have finally decided to do something I had given up on ages ago. Lose weight, look pretty again, and be the wife and mother my family deserves.

This article is truly written for people who have packed it in and given up hope. I urge you to check out my blog and come along with me on this journey. If my dream of making money online fails to work…so be it. My deepest goal is to get back into shape and have others do the same. Others who feel it can never happen for them.

If you are interested, my blog is at It is nothing fancy, I am just starting out, and I do not know a heck of a lot about building a website period. But you know what? I am trying! To me that is all that really matters. If I fall, I pledge to pick myself back up, and try to move on from where I left off. One thing I definitely am is stubborn. Why not come along and be stubborn with me?

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